How to be liked, handle disagreement and persuade others (Basic Dale Carnegie teachings) .

Be kind and be liked :

  1. Show interest :
    • Show interest in what they are doing without annoying them .
    • Talk in terms of their interest .
    • Ask questions .
    • Keep a curious eye .
  2. Give importance :
    • Appriciate what they do and importance of their role .
    • Remember birthdays, name and personal information .
    • Seek advice, opinion .
    • Offer help, gift .
    • Do something for the person .
  3. Don't do these :
    • Give advice, opinion if not asked .
    • Criticize, judge .
    • Try to be smart .
    • Seek appriciation .
    • Order around .
    • Directly say 'You are wrong' .
  4. Keep a smiling face .
  5. Save their dignity, never humiliate or fool them even as a fun .
  6. Never give direct compliment. No one likes fake praise .

Handle disagreement like a pro :

If you don't agree with someone and it's important to change their mind , do not try to prove them wrong . Listen and feel their perspective . Only if they are heard properly, you will be heard . And if it's not important to change their mind , why bother ? Remember , winning an argument is not more important than the feelings of a person .

Basics of effortless persuasion :

  1. Never order anyone . Instead make a request with a question .
  2. Make them happy about doing the things you want them to do . Make them want to do it .
  3. Praise what you like in a person no matter how small . What you don't like will disappear without getting any attention and what you like will develop further .
  4. Praise and use the word "AND" then say "If you did that too it'd be great". Never use "BUT" in middle .
  5. Make them talk a lot . People like to talk about accomplishment, problems, expertise, childhood, family, travels etc . Listen attentively and encourage them to talk more . After that, they will do things for you .
  6. Get the person saying "Yes yes" immediately . That way it will be harder for them to say "No" later .
  7. "It will be better if that happens. What do you think? What can be done ?" This is how you plant suggestion with a question and let the idea come from them . Always let them think it's their idea .
  8. "A ('insert an adjective') person would do this . And i think you are an ('insert that adjective') person " . This is called appealing to the nobler motives . Similarly it also gives the person a reputation to live up to .
  9. Talk about your fault first and then gently tell them about a fault in them and say it's very easy to overcome it .
  10. Do something dramatic to get attention and try to dramatise your idea .
  11. Challenge them to do something you want them to do . Use "Can you do it please ?" instead of "Will you do it please ?" .